Dulu masa dekat sekolah rendah, selalu rasa macam tak sabar sangat nak jadi besar, I mean dewasa la. Rasa macam bila dah jadi orang besar, boleh jalan-jalan and boleh hidup senang lenang macam boss.
Bila cikgu tanya ‘Siti Aishah, dah besar nanti awak nak jadi apa’. Dengan slumber aku jawab, ‘Nak jadi pramugari cikgu’.
Without knowing yang aku akan jadi pendek bila dah menjelang dewasa. Antara yang terpendek di kalangan orang pendek. Kecewa betul, bila dapat diri sendiri tak boleh tinggi lagi. My actual height is 154cm. I’m a shorty.
Bila masuk sekolah menengah, rasa macam tak sabar sangat pulak nak habis sekolah. Konon-nya macam best sangat belajar jauh dari mak bapak. Macam konon-nya best sangat belajar dekat kolej. Pada hakikat-nya, aku takut nak jauh dari mak bapak aku. Takut sangat nak pergi tempat yang aku tak pernah pergi, bukan apa, I used to be very tak friendly. So, aku rasa macam aku akan ada masalah in making new friends. Bila dah habis sekolah menengah, rindu pulak nak sekolah balik. Memang ragam manusia, tak pernah sudah.
When I entered college, I have no friends. I still remembered, on my first day, I wore a pink baju kurung with white scarf and a pair of black flats. Rasa macam alien sangat masa tu. First night dekat hostel, menangis tersedu-sedu atas katil sebab rindu dekat family. Very funny. Rasa macam three years studies tu macam lama sangat. Tak sabar nak kerja lah konon-nya. But in the end, after three years there, despite all the chaos – I had many new friends. Orang-orang yang memang aku takkan trade dengan apa-apa pun. I love them so much. Rasa macam taknak habis study.
And now, here I am. Writing this while prone lying on my bed. Jobless. I really need a job. I have debts to pay and I have parents to be taken care of. Tolong wahai kerja-kerja di luar sana, berdamping-lah dengan ku.
Sebelum lupa, last 2 weeks, on 13th October 2011 was my favourite niece’s birthday. She is now 6 years old. And, and guess what, she’s going to SIGS Primary for her Darjah 1. I am so excited. Rasa macam sekejap saja dia dah besar. Anyway, Aunty Aishah loves you!
Alright, till we meet again. Another place another time. Another world, another life.